I'm Mormon and I have a problem with the LDS Church's culture

Let me bear my simple testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ:

I know that Jesus Christ is the savior of the world, he is my personal savior. The example he set for me what I strive to be. I know he is my advocate with The Father. He is THE ONE who will always understand me and love me unconditionally. I will never be alone in anything because of Jesus Christ. I know His miracles do not cease to exist on this earth, that His priesthood is living through the organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints, that His gospel was restored through Joseph Smith after a long real and great apostasy which came to exist after the death of the last of his original appointed apostles. Studying the teachings of Jesus Christ brings joy to my soul. I understand and comprehend all of life's joys and all of life's struggles and torment because of His gospel. I find hope and love and complete faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ and I know it's what turns the earth, what guides the laws of the universe, and what gives our complete existence purpose and meaning.

While I know all of this, I also find myself experiencing a lot of conflicted feelings about the culture in the church through which He guides. This is my own personal struggle, I am intended on finding a way to reconcile the imperfections of the church and raising my children and worshiping. Somehow that saying that floats around, "His gospel is perfect, but the people aren't," just isn't enough for me right now. These people who I affiliate with as fellow members in Christ's church, are people that I'm suppose to support in faith in leadership positions, they're the people that I'm suppose to rely on as the village to help raise my kids. I have to answer to my kids on certain things, and I believe I have answers to every conundrum that might come up regarding the behavior or false teachings of fellow members, but I have to heal my own heart and attitude.

I've always been one to be shunned by the "popular" crowd. The main thing that I feel criticized and judged for is my passion for politics and right in society and government, that can include who I support for office. (Among many things, I have actually been told by a few fellow members of the LDS Church online that because I support Donald Trump for President of the US, that I'm not worthy of a temple recommend). The thing is that everyone has opinions, anyone who is informed has opinions on everything they know about, but most people keep their tongues tied. I was born with this inability to do so. I have this incessant need to stand up for truth and right. I speak my mind and give my opinion. This causes people not to like me, or be turned away from me, or judge me. I'm use to this. What I'll never be use to is others being ridiculed, picked apart, judged, condemned, criticized, etc. when it is due to their hearts being interpreted, when the "condemner" doesn't know their heart. THIS seems to be where I really get riled up, in defense of others against such behavior that seems to be the antithesis of the teachings of Christ, who ate with sinners and touched the leapers, but rebukes the judgmental Pharisees and spoke out against bearing false witness.

Generally these are the kind of people that don't like me or speak rudely about me. There are many who disagree with me and likely find my thoughts and opinions alarming, but they still treat me with love and respect and like to be around me. These are true Christ like people who I will always be grateful for and will always remember their kindness towards me.

I will be speaking mostly about the behavior of people in the church toward other people in the church. But I want to make a strong note that I find it abhorrent to be critical of any person who is a follower of Christ, to only focus on the negative and not make an effort to look for the positive, so much so to be a believer of falsehoods and as well as a bearer of them. I believe as a general policy that Christians should look for the positive in others, especially Christlike behavior of giving and helping and being selfless.

I believe that all are welcome and belong at church to partake of his sacrament every single week. I believe no matter which candidate we support for office or no matter what clothes we wear, how often we cut our lawn, which school we send our kids to, if we have the sniffles or a cough, if we kiss our husband or scrub his back during church, if we wear too much perfume, if we women wear pants to church, if we wear jeans, whether or not we comb our kids hair or have them in a shirt and tie, if our kids are wearing sneakers or snow boots instead of church shoes, if someone has a potty mouth or salty language, or if they simply just speak with a little edge, no matter if someone's house is always messy, if someone takes off their shoes when they teach a lesson, if someone gets called as a new auxiliary president and makes their own changes to the way things are run, whether someone follows the church handbook exactly, if someone brings a peanut to church, if someone's kids have a bad day in sacrament meeting and completely misbehave, if someone let's their baby cry during sacrament without taking them out, if someone uses salty language on a regular basis, etc. etc.... we ALL belong at church, and we should ALL feel like we belong. And none of these "traditions of men" exclude someone from partaking of the gospel of Jesus Christ, or holding a temple recommend.  (These are all some of the things for which I've witnessed people in the church get judged or criticized).

We have to learn to think of others first in all things while we are there. As we sit in the chapel, instead of thinking about how a woman could come to church with pink hair, I believe we should be thinking: Does someone feel safe? Does someone feel comfortable? Does someone feel loved? Does someone feel respected? Does someone feel they matter? Does someone feel accepted and tolerated no matter what they do with their lives or how they believe? Does someone feel inspiration guides the organization of the ward? Does someone feel their talents are recognized through the spirit and not through the eyes of man, and that they are considered valuable in every organization of the ward? Does someone feel like they have opportunities to serve and belong? I need to make SOMEONE feel loved and special, wanted and needed, respected and valued today.

I've had people ASSUME that I judge them for some of the aforementioned things just because I choose a certain way of life. What they fail in, is getting to know me enough to know, I do not care what others do with their lives - I'm concerned with what I do with mine and how I behave. That includes treating other followers of Christ with understanding and love even when they differ from my opinion. But I will always defend right.

The book of James in the New Testament is one of my favorites. I think this is because it speaks a lot of being brothers in the gospel of Jesus Christ and how to be good to one another. I just feel filled when I read that book.

James 4:11

Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge

And who is the only judge? Jesus Christ. I just feel that if we all take it upon ourselves to judge others, we are are trying to put ourselves in the place of our Savior. And the Savior didn't just suffer for the gossiper, he suffered for ALL.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoeverbelieveth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

When I speak of "traditions of men" being a part of the LDS Church, in a general and succinct description, I want to convey that I believe there is a problem with people in the church judging other people in the church, their righteousness or worthiness of being there, based on things that have very little, or nothing at all, to do with the pure gospel of Jesus Christ. I think some people forget that the LDS Church is where His priesthood lies, but not where the reasoning of men should have any place in determining someone's worth or appreciation and value in His kingdom at any capacity. Not in being a mother, or friend, or being a Young Women's president, or even Bishop. We must always remember how Jesus Christ measures others and what His standards are in our effort to strive for perfection. He looketh on the heart. Just because another person expresses themselves differently, or trains their children differently, or dresses differently, or does ANY thing differently than we would based on our own interpretation and principle of what is right and appropriate, doesn't make them, or their actions, "bad" or unworthy (which is the word I would use to interpret how the culture of the LDS Church determines things).

Perhaps my expectations are too high. I think that is the case. I, too, need to become more unconditionally loving and accepting even when I feel defensive of others who have tender feelings when they're criticized, chastised, or judged unrighteously, as well as defensive of myself. We all have a bit of hypocrite in us. But I'm consistently determined to be better at so much in my life and this is one of them. To love my enemies.