I read the following blog post: http://aspiringmormonwomen.org/2014/12/08/three-things-i-wish-i-could-say-to-every-young-lds-woman/
To say I was annoyed by this article is an understatement. I thought, SOMEONE needs to be a voice of reason out there for the Young Women in the church. Therefore, let me put forth some of my comments on the article, and also some expanding on the underlying subjects in general:
As far as education - I think college is often a joke and a waste period. I know plenty of people personally (not the typical named Bill Gates who didn't attend college) who didn't attend college that made some great successes of themselves. They raised a family and made a comfortable retirement for themselves all on working themselves up, on-the-job training, starting a business, investing, etc. None of this needs college, and when the Lord counsels us through prophets to never cease learning and to become well-educated, he doesn't mean attend a university or get training. I'm not saying these things are bad, but I'm seeing a lot of "have something to fall back on" being floated around, and we don't need college for that. I have no doubt that should something happen to my husband, I could go back to work if I needed and support my family without getting a degree. I'd have a lot to learn and a lot of struggles and it would not be as lucrative as my husband's ability to provide, but I could do it. I'm smart, I'm capable. I don't need professors and a piece of paper signed by the Dean at the U of U, or even certification from Eagle Gate College. If you seek to become a lawyer, doctor, engineer, accountant... okay, college need be. But otherwise, it's a bad investment and unnecessary debt. That's not a fall-back, that's just a waste of time.
I'm a homeschool mom because I am so passionate about education and learning and having our minds filled with all kinds of good information and knowledge, the right kind. It's all we can take with us when we leave this earth. But at the same time I am the last person to say that the average college campus is the right place to get it.
On the matter of those who say that those women in the LDS Church who have prestigious careers are no less spiritual than the stay-at-home-moms - The ones who have only some college or no college for that matter, are no less brilliant or smart or educated than the ones with PhD's and Master degrees. That's one thing that has always bothered me. When they say, "So and so has a Masters degree, isn't that wonderful? Gosh I admire that?" Well sure that's great but my intelligence and knowledge hasn't been measured by society with a degree or a 70,000 dollar education, and I'm educated too. I know valuable things. I've accomplished things.
Here's how I see people in general. We're all equal in the eyes of God. I can think, make decisions, have educated opinions about what's best, just the same as anyone else. So what makes that guy in the white house think he can speak for everyone else and ignore the guys who are suppose to represent us and listen to us? He's no better than I am. That's just an example to illustrate how status doesn't make you smarter, better or more capable. Anyone is capable of anything, you just have to believe you can do it, and you can. I chose on purpose to NOT continue my college education. It was in no way naive or as a result of my desire to be married and start a family. It just wasn't for me. I knew I could be just as successful (if need be) in the career world as anyone else with a college degree so I dropped out and saved the money. There was nothing college could offer me.
Another thing about this topic that really gets to me, is how valuable people see career. Life is all about a career, it's about you. Our public education system is all about career these days, they don't teach the truly valuable things. Our life on earth is NOT about career. It's about family. Period. Your job is just that, a job. A means to provide. If your career is the most important to you then you have to take a look at the bigger picture, because that's not going to make you happy, that's not what God made you for. That's not what He created this earth for. Honestly, I was so brainwashed through the schools as a kid to believe I needed a career, I struggled so bad thinking I was a loser because I couldn't decide. One of the valuable things my husband taught me through his example as a person, is that all we need to do is make money and then come home and be with family. Teach the kids. Watch them play. Learn together. What you do to make the money, doesn't matter. As long as you're doing it so you can provide the necessities of life. Do you think there are careers in heaven? Nope. That is one thing that just bugged me about this article. As if our whole existence revolves around status and college education.
While college can be a good investment on paper in many cases, in most degrees and accreditation it is not. Most people who graduate from college do not go into their chosen field and struggle with that debt for most of their lives.
I'm not trying to downplay anyone's college education, I'm sure many college graduates had a great time at college and find what they learned there valuable. But I don't like that members in the LDS Church assume that when we're counseled to get an education it means we should attend college. When you're a junior in high school, pick a college, pick a major, it's a must, we have to do it, we have to because the Lord told us to. The fact is that makes people look ridiculous. He never told us that. Even for those who are done with college should continue their education. Education doesn't equal college. Does anyone realize that you can get the equivalent of a college education for FREE, online, from college professors?
Anyway, I'm not feeding my children that myth. We leave it open for them to decide their own path. We in no way encourage college nor discourage it. But both my husband and I are honest about why we did not continue with college ourselves. Yet the both of us are always involved in learning and expanding our minds. I think we're setting a fine example there.
I'm not trying to downplay anyone's college education, I'm sure many college graduates had a great time at college and find what they learned there valuable. But I don't like that members in the LDS Church assume that when we're counseled to get an education it means we should attend college. When you're a junior in high school, pick a college, pick a major, it's a must, we have to do it, we have to because the Lord told us to. The fact is that makes people look ridiculous. He never told us that. Even for those who are done with college should continue their education. Education doesn't equal college. Does anyone realize that you can get the equivalent of a college education for FREE, online, from college professors?
Anyway, I'm not feeding my children that myth. We leave it open for them to decide their own path. We in no way encourage college nor discourage it. But both my husband and I are honest about why we did not continue with college ourselves. Yet the both of us are always involved in learning and expanding our minds. I think we're setting a fine example there.
Members of the LDS Church might say, "Why would the church have the Perpetual Education Fund if they didn't believe God wants you to go to college?" From pef.lds.org: The Perpetual Education Fund (PEF) has been established to provide worthy young adults of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with the support and resources necessary to improve their lives through education and better employment to better serve their family, the Church, and their community. The Perpetual Education Fund in the church is generally for those in underdeveloped countries who do not have access to a quality education. Do you see anyone in America getting that money? I haven't. Because in America, we have so many more opportunities to earn a living that have nothing to do with college. We don't need it. In America the opportunities are limitless for educating ourselves. We can educate ourselves and make ourselves quite a lucrative living without going into tens of thousands of dollars in debt. So this charitable act was meant for those who are stuck in the mud with nothing to grab onto. In America, we could make our money for college (or even a mission) before we even attend (or go). In America, there's money. We just need to figure out an honest way to get it. There are so many ways, it just takes hard work. In some areas of the world, hard work doesn't amount to much, so they need charity like the PEF.
I've probably learned more since I quit my job to stay home and be a full-time mom and wife. I really loved college. I loved being in the classroom and taking notes and doing projects. I thought it was fun. But I left because, practically, it wasn't worth my time and money. This also leaves me the freedom to learn what I am interested in, and what really gives me fulfillment in my life and enriches my mind. Being a parent alone has taught me more, and inspired me to learn more, than anything I learned before.
What 3 things would I say to every young LDS woman, you ask?
1. Study the gospel hard. Pray and gain a testimony. Make this a priority in your life. Make a great relationship with Heavenly Father and your savior Jesus Christ. Study the words of all the prophets. Through this you can withstand anything life can throw at you and you will gain wisdom and light and knowledge through it, which will help you make the right decisions. Staying pure, making covenants, raising children... it all falls in this category in my opinion.
2. Have confidence in your abilities and in your mind. Your mind and your body is God's design. He is supreme intelligence and he made you with a purpose and a mission. Find your mission, explore your talents and develop them (I wish I had help with this as a youth). Never cease learning. Always be engaged in learning something and don't be afraid to speak your mind.
3. Serve others. Serving others helps you forget your problems, it teaches you, it gets your out of yourself, it keeps you humble. And when you speak your mind you'll remember how to speak it while also giving respect to others and having a mind of understanding.
2. Have confidence in your abilities and in your mind. Your mind and your body is God's design. He is supreme intelligence and he made you with a purpose and a mission. Find your mission, explore your talents and develop them (I wish I had help with this as a youth). Never cease learning. Always be engaged in learning something and don't be afraid to speak your mind.
3. Serve others. Serving others helps you forget your problems, it teaches you, it gets your out of yourself, it keeps you humble. And when you speak your mind you'll remember how to speak it while also giving respect to others and having a mind of understanding.
We are on this earth to LEARN. Whether college is a part of that or not doesn't matter at all. Life itself is a learning process. Becoming educated is a lifelong endeavor.
Now, may this balance out the Mormon feminist bloggers out there.
