Being judgy

Published by Starfish

This isn't a political post, so you can breathe easy. I was just thinking about something and need to get it off of my chest.

It is very easy to be judgmental of anyone who isn't, well... you. I am guilty of it myself. But at least I can admit when I am a judgy self-righteous jerk not long after I've been one. Some people just hold onto it and let it fester inside them until they have such distaste for another person over something so small.

I have an example of this in the following "story". And let me prelude this with the assurance that I realize I am completely speculating, BUT I have known people to completely base their entire opinion on one person based on something like this.

Several months ago I made my indoor cat be an outside cat. I made this decision for the health of my family, mostly my children and my babies. It was either make her an outdoor cat, or giver her to the Humane Society where she will not get adopted because she is too old. The cat, as much as I love her, was turning our home into a cesspool. She was peeing in places in the home that were NOT places for her to pee, but places where we sit and sleep. Since I grew up having pets, my first thought was that she had a UTI or the litter box wasn't clean. Well, the litter box was cleaned regularly. She was checked and found to NOT have a UTI and the vet said that sometimes cats just get into a habit of going wherever they want. That was the final straw. This cat was also irritating my son's asthma (which has pretty much become symptom-less since she was made to be an outdoor cat), and she was also often finding her spots to nap in my baby's chair and crib. Our neighborhood also has a bit of a potential rodent problem due to the empty fields being dug up for new homes, and it appealed to me to have a cat on "mouse-watch" (she truly has been, I've seen four mice placed dead on our porches since she's been out there). Now, I also have a dog who I do not let sleep on the bed or lay on the couch or eat human food. I also leave him outside in the back yard for long periods of time when I have two children napping (he barks really loud when anyone walks in front of our yard or knocks on the door) or if I am mopping the kitchen floor, or if there are too many people/guests in the house and he is getting too excited, etc.

Now there are people who have made comments to me as if I am a mean person for treating my pets this way. As if ANIMALS come BEFORE humans! Uh, no. A dog needs to know his place, and it is NOT in equality with the humans in the home and a cat will not be tolerated indoors when she is leaving her filthy urine and dander all over the place. I love animals, especially cats, but I love and care for my children MORE. I have been made to think that certain people have based their entire opinion of me, of my whole character, over this.

Basically, I think animals are not actually meant to live indoors with humans. I believe some animals were meant to be companions to humans, of course. They provide wonderful companionship. But their natural habitat is meant to be outside where they can adapt. Why else would they have the physical characteristics that they have? Like claws, and K-9 teeth, and a FUR COAT, and exceptional ability to flee. If any of you are worried about my pets, please remove yourself from suburbia for a moment, and realize... you don't need to worry, they will be absolutely fine! I feed and water them and give them lots of petting time and love.

I am a good person. I am a good mother and I have love in my heart for humankind and I do my best to contribute in a positive way to society. I truly believe I do my best and that God is on my side. Now isn't that enough of a reason to think positively about me? If you think I should be doing something different in my life, as small as what kind of pet owner I am, it shouldn't let you affect your entire opinion of me. There are a lot of differences between me and many people close to me, but I do not love them any less or think of them any less. Sure, sometimes I have to work a little harder to look past some things, but as long as someone believes about themselves as I do about myself, (stated at the beginning of this paragraph), then they are great in my book.

Bottom line, let's just love each other and realize we are all doing our best based on what WE know and what each of us as individuals have experienced. Let's not find excuses to be contentious, hateful, spiteful or gossipy. These things hurt and distance us all from each other.